Friday, May 8, 2015

Thoughts for Mothers Day

I wrote a post a couple years about why I don't like mothers day, and I wondered at the time if I would ever reconsider liking mothers day, and the time has come that I think I do. You see, two years ago I was raising and trying to potty-train a very independent-minded 3-year-old, and it was harder than I ever thought it would be.

I probably had too high of expectations and was worn out and discouraged and my hormones weren't in order. There was that mood-altering, as-yet-unrecognized dairy sensitivity as well (that'll be a topic for another day). 3-year-olds do grow up a little though. They do get potty-trained and they do learn to amuse themselves. The potty-trained part is a huge relief, but I'm not beyond jumping at the sound of running water at inopportune moments in inappropriate locations.

Doubt and fear still sneaks in at times though, making me wonder if I'm good enough as a mom. There are days when I feel like I say, "No, not right now," too often to my girlie. Of course, those are the days when I tend to do what I shouldn't, and take a few moments to look at my "Mothering" pinterest board for an inspirational quote or something to help me feel better.

That is the wrong thing to do.
Don't go there when you're already feeling down on yourself.
It's just full of pictures of lovely mommas and babies, tender moments and kisses. That end up making you feel even sadder.


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May 2013, during a rather picturesque mothering moment

The last time I did this, I told my husband that it wasn't encouraging at all and instead made me feel worse. That's when he told me,

"A picture is just a split-second image. It's only a moment. 
I could probably capture 100 of those moments during your day." 

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April 2015

That was the best thing he could have told me.
Because that's what mothering is. Split seconds of everyday life 24/7.

We as mothers don't tend to see them, because it's just natural to kiss the top of that little one's head when he wakes up. Or hold hands as you walk to the mailbox. Or quick color the sky blue in a picture with your little girl before you wash the dishes. It's just the things mommas are supposed to do, and we do them quite well.

You can't compare your entire day, with one shutter snap of someone else's life.

But if you imagine a photographer spending the day with you, those are the exact moments they would capture and send you beautiful pictures of 6 weeks later. Then you would sit and realize, wow, I guess I can seem patient and loving. Because it's true. If you stack all those little moments together, you get a lifetime and that's what the little ones will remember.

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The annual foot tracing on her birthday.

God has given us all a memory and a tendency to forget things. Sometimes one outweighs the other, but they don't remember when your voice was raised and your anger triumphed as much as we might think. I'm learning that children give grace to us as mothers a lot easier than we give grace to ourselves. I'm not saying they don't remember any of the uncomfortable moments...nor should you just let impatience rule and anger get the best of you.

But they do forgive readily. 
And love incredibly.
And that's what we need to do right back, not only to them, but to ourselves.

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So keep on capturing those split-second images, because that's how we can remember all the glorious moments of mothering. In between all the repeated answers to questions the little ones "didn't hear", and the constant explanations of the bedtime routine we do every. single. night.

Happy Mothers Day fellow Mommas!
You are good enough and you're doing a fine job.


Just don't get carried away on Pinterest too often. Turn to God instead.

"God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, 
so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 
2 Corinthians 5:21

4 comments:

  1. Janel. You are an inspiration to me!!! That is so true about split second moments...in everything.

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    1. You're right-those split seconds are in everything, not just mothering and I hadn't quite thought about it that way.

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  2. So glad you are coming around to " Mother's day " Your husband was so right in his words to you. No mother has ever got it exactly right, there is no perfection in being a mother, we live and learn as our children grow. Being a mother now to four grown children, believe me I made my share of mistakes. Saying I'm sorry was always easy, and accepted readily by my kiddos. Looking back now, I consider myself doing a pretty great job as a mother, even with my failures along the way. It is a learning process to be sure, and God gives much grace day by day by day. In all the split second moments I've viewed here on your blog, I would have to say....... you are doing an excellent job as a mother my friend. Many mommy blessings to you and your little one ♡

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    1. Ah Shelley, thank you for your encouragement. I already wish I could have done some things differently and don't want to regret these years of my little girl's childhood. I need all the grace God can give.

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